|Up until 20 years ago, my life could be summed up as "A search for love." At the age of 12, my life took a dramatic change. My parents were divorced and our family was separated. I grew up feeling like nobody loved me or cared about me. I so much wanted someone to tell me they loved me and that I was important to them. I was confused and began to be angry and bitter inside. I soon began to do things that DID get people's attention. But, they were not the people from whom you would usually want to have attention -- people like police officers, judges, and jailers. Until the time I was 18, I was doing things I knew were wrong, but deep inside I was really trying to get someone to pay attention to me and tell me they loved me. At age 18, I met Kathy, who was 16 at the time, and after knowing each other for one month, we got married. I thought that is what I needed to find love in my life. I needed a wife so I could love her and she could love me. Growing up not feeling loved, my heart became very hard and I couldn't show love to my own family. After sometime, we began to fight and have problems. So I began drinking, but down inside I just wanted to be loved and to be able to love.|
About this time in the United States (late 1960's), a movement started among young people called the "Hippie" movement. A whole generation of young people began to talk about love, joy, and peace--all the things I so much wanted to have in my life. Being a hippie meant that you grew your hair long, wore strange clothes, talked with a special hippie language and took drugs. So my wife and I became hippies. For a short time I thought I found the answer for our life. When I took drugs, I felt very loving towards people. But soon that stopped and my life became worse than ever, and now I was also a drug addict. My wife and I began to have problems again and so one day I left her and our kids and began traveling around America.
Darryl Webb as a Hippie
I was 23 years old at that time and I no longer cared if I lived or died. It's a sad thing to be so young and not want to live. But I felt I had no reason to live. Finally, I ended up in Montana. By the time I arrived there, I had become very sick. I was sick from taking so many drugs and not eating for several days. When I walked into the town, I was wearing a headband, a backpack, and I was playing a harmonica. I came around a corner and there standing in front of me was a guy who looked a lot like me. As soon as I saw him I knew there was something very different about him. He seemed at peace and there was a love in him that I had never seen in anyone before. He invited me to stay with him for 3 days. It wasn't until I later that I found out he was a Christian. After a couple of days, I began to think about my wife and children. I decided to go back and try to start over our new life. My wife sent me a bus ticket to come home.